


Going On Ahead

by cymyguy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Character Death, Goodbyes, Hospitals, M/M, Soulmates, kagehina in their 80s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:55:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28947774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cymyguy/pseuds/cymyguy
Summary: “You have the strength of a lifetime," Shouyou says. "You—don’t need a partner.”“But I want one.”It comes in a huff, plaintive and weak. He can’t prove Shouyou right, at least.Shouyou laughs, a ghostly chuckle.“I know,” he says. “I can feel it. Something…holding me back…with all its strength. I’m sure it’s you,” he smiles. "But I think…you have to let me go now.”
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 16
Kudos: 61





	Going On Ahead

**Author's Note:**

> @myrseyy's elderly kagehina art is what's been egging me on to do this

It’s been three days, at the hospital. Shouyou is still hooked up to the huge oxygen machine. But he is talking better today.

Not that that’s ever a good thing.

“—when Tobio-san had his knee replacement. And let me tell you, your grandfather—was the biggest baby I’ve ever dealt with, and I _raised_ two babies of my own.” He wheezes just quickly enough that Tobio can’t interrupt. “The hospital cafeteria’s milk wasn’t good enough for him, so every day—I had to bring a whole bag of milks with me—just to even get him interested in my presence!”

“I’m pretty sure it was only two days,” Tobio says, over the laughter of three middle-school grandchildren.

“Believe me—it felt like two weeks,” Shouyou says, and laughs with them. It sounds very little like his regular laugh, without the breath to make it ring through a room, or a gym.

Tobio’s pockets, in his coats and sweaters and pants, are full of clean tissues on one side, and used ones on the other. His eyes water enough these days, so he doesn’t appear too out of character with the tearing up. At least, nobody has commented on it. But they might know something. And he knows that Shouyou does. As the rest leave to go home for the evening, his husband turns to him.

“Will you stay for a bit?”

Tobio nods, and looks at their son, who nods to say they won’t wait for him.

Yesterday Shouyou wanted to talk to him alone too. Today it seems he’s more able to do so. Tobio is almost glad, but then Shouyou opens his eyes from resting them a minute. The little smile in his mouth is permanent by now, but his eyes are serious, preparing Tobio, so that he can save his breath for other words.

“I can’t be sure,” Shouyou says, and his eyes sink away and go across the room. “…But I don’t think I’ll be going back home.”

Tobio scoots closer to the edge of his chair. He leans one arm on the bed, and reaches for Shouyou’s chin, turning his face back to his.

“I can’t tell them—”

Tobio can barely catch his voice over the machines.

“—But I can tell you.”

A couple tears slip from Shouyou’s eyes, catching in wrinkles and pooling there. But they’re the only ones that come. Tobio takes out a tissue and wipes them. Shouyou keeps looking at him now.

“What makes you think that?” he says, voice held even by sheer stubbornness.

“I—I don’t know, exactly…My body’s gone through a…a lot of breakdown…and recovery…This doesn’t feel…the same.”

It makes surprising sense.

“I wanted to tell you…”

Shouyou’s smile tugs a little higher as he submits and lets his eyes shut, his lungs catch up. Tobio takes the extra pillows from the chair next to him and stacks them higher, so Shouyou can still sit up, with less effort. His husband pats his arm in thanks, as he would do at home, when Tobio would adjust the pillow under his side if he was tossing and turning at night.

Shouyou keeps his head up on his own, as he looks at Tobio again.

“You have the strength of a lifetime, now. You—don’t need a partner.”

The burn of Tobio’s throat very quickly reaches his eyes.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean,” he huffs, gripping Shouyou’s arm hard.

“It’s only the truth…You’re stronger now.”

Tobio’s lips fumble as his tears spill. He fights to snap back at him, wants to talk in blind rage as Shouyou looks so steadily at him, not breaking anymore.

“But I want one.”

It comes in a huff, plaintive and weak. He can’t prove Shouyou right, at least.

Shouyou laughs, a ghostly chuckle.

“I know,” he says. “I can feel it. Something…holding me back…with all its strength. I’m sure it’s you,” he smiles.

Tobio blinks tears quickly. A tiny warmth, hope, pulses deep in his soul, surrounded by the rest that is aching and cold.

Shouyou smiles at the face he’s making.

“But I think,” he says, “…you have to let me go now.”

“What?” Tears come again, starting to build into a stream. “Like hell—No,” Tobio says. “I’ll keep you here. Like I’d let you go now, after you told me I could.”

“Tobio—”

“Don’t waste your breath saying such stupid things.”

Shouyou smiles begrudgingly.

“That’s probably why you can’t breathe now in the first place,” Tobio adds.

He shakes his head. “Can you please listen to me—”

“I’ll keep you here as long as I damn well please, Hinata! Boke…”

With that he sobs, and digs out a new tissue. Slowly, softly, Hinata laughs.

He touches Tobio’s arm and waits for his whimpers to quiet. Tobio tries to keep looking at him, because of course he will listen, he didn’t mean to shut him down like that. When Shouyou’s lips part, the bare minimum, Tobio watches them.

“You’re stubborn,” he smiles. “But you’re not cruel.”

Tobio shuts his eyes. He could tell he was in pain. That didn’t mean he was prepared to hear it, or expecting to. That means Shouyou really had no choice. In admitting it, he’s just told him that his only option is getting Tobio to agree.

Shouyou coaxes him further. Tobio can’t hear it all above the machines.

“…good partner…know you can…for me...”

Tobio nods, to get him to stop. He doesn’t need to waste breath on that. He covers Shouyou’s hand with his until he can swallow.

“Okay,” he says weakly.

Shouyou smiles. He lets his head go back against the pillow, and pushes his hand more firmly against Tobio’s.

After some silence, Tobio can speak almost normally again.

“Well, I beat you. You’re what, 85? I thought you’d live longer than this.”

“You’re not—even 85—yet! I haven’t—lost—”

“I’ll probably last another ten years. I definitely win.”

“I don’t—see it that way,” Shouyou puffs. “I’ll be going on ahead.”

He grins at Kageyama.

“Could you act like more of a bastard?”

Shouyou laughs. He clutches at his shirt with his free hand, wheezing shorter and shorter as he laughs and laughs. In seconds it’s nothing but the feeblest bursts of air through his lips.

“Shouyou, knock it off.” Tobio smiles and hits his arm. “You sound like a cat with a hairball.”

Shouyou gasps for air, trying to force his eyes open to look at him through his tears. Tobio laughs, leaning closer to him. He brushes a hand over his hair.

“Don’t kill yourself right now by being an idiot.”

He gasps enough times that his giggle starts to have a little sound again. Tobio kisses his nose.

For three more days, Tobio arrives each morning with breakfast from home, as perfect as his hands can make it. Some of the family is always there before lunch. Friends are asked to come during the day as well. They offer encouragement and optimism, and Tobio and his husband accept it with thanks. By Shouyou’s dinnertime, he is with only his family as he enjoys his meal. After a little more visiting, everyone goes home, and Tobio stays, and they talk. Shouyou’s lungs sound a little less wistful each day.

They say lots of things. Talk about everything and nothing. Remind each other of promises, and joke, and reminisce. Hinata thanks him for being warm-up partners with him their first year of high school. Because he was a little afraid, he says, that he would be so far behind everyone that no on would want to be partnered with him. He tells Tobio what he thinks the kids will need from him the next few years. He complains that Tobio isn’t getting enough sleep, that his looks are faltering and Shouyou doesn’t want to live to see the day that his husband is ugly. Tobio only cries once he’s home in their room alone.

The third evening, Tobio leaves with a small photo album he’d snuck in inside his coat, so the kids didn’t see it.

“Bye Tobio.”

“Bye.” He waves from the doorway. “See you soon.”

Shouyou smiles, and waves his hand.

“—It’s nice to see you,” Tobio hears him say to the nurse that goes in. “Working the night shift again? That’s tough…I know you’ll do your best. Make sure to drink water on all your breaks, okay?”

Tobio wakes up in their bed. It’s the usual time, he knows somehow, but he feels strangely outside of it, as if his body doesn’t feel the dawn. He knows, vaguely, that his ringing phone woke him.

That warm pulse is gone from his soul. He inhales, and for a moment he’s choking, he’s the one hooked to the machine. The delayed air fills his lungs, and when it goes out, it leaves a sting. He doesn’t leave the bed right away, letting the sensations take their course, jotting down their paths through him. Reading them for what they are, once something between his chest and brain has clicked sharply into place.

He gets up and goes into the hall. His daughter has just started to come down, and her husband is behind her. They stayed the night. His daughter purses her lips. She’s shaking, a phone clutched in her hand.

“The hospital,” her husband murmurs, trying to warn Tobio.

“He—left us sometime last night,” she chokes.

Tobio nods. “I know.”

He breathes in. It feels different now, but it’s still possible. Tobio is strong. He is.

Hinata, of all people, would know.

He breathes out.

“I can feel it.”


End file.
